Oh, hello there, I didn’t see you come in!
What am I up to? Oh, I was just working on The Armies. You know the one. It’s a tale as old as time.
Boy gets a power play.
Boy does terribly on power play.
Boy gets repeated power plays.
Boy continues to try the same thing every game for reasons we can’t quite explain.
At one point, Alex Chiasson shows up to crash on boy’s couch and no one knows why, but he never leaves.
Boy drunk dials Newell Brown begging him to come back.
Boy has to listen to Jason King tell him to go do Sedin-type things.
Boy puts on Crash Test Dummies and just spaces out for a while.
Boy wonders if maybe he should have become an orthodontist like Mom always wanted.
Boy gives rousing speech about sticking to the system and how things will work themselves out eventually.
Anyways, you’ve all heard this one before, let’s dive into The Armies, shall we?
The defense is….interesting thus far. #canucks
— Jason McLean (@fargolawyer) November 6, 2021
What’s it like to watch a team that gets a first period lead?
— Cam Tucker (@CamTucker_Sport) November 6, 2021
The Canucks need to find out what energy drink regiment Francois St-Laurent is on (five Red Bulls, minimum) because they need to find a way to start games with energy.
I feel confident in suggesting “playing a solid road game” at home doesn’t usually go over well with the home crowd. It’s like showing up on a first date and not saying a word all dinner so you can “minimize your mistakes.” Sometimes, you just have to go for it.
And look, we all loved that Thatcher Demko save sequence against the New York Rangers. It was undoubtedly one of the most exciting moments of hockey in Rogers Arena in years. Who didn’t bust out a scorpion kick in the office the next day despite several warnings from HR?
But if the biggest moment on home ice in years involves Demko entering Tron mode, it’s a good sign your team needs to figure out how to produce offense.
And that is how the Canucks found themselves on the penalty kill, giving up the first goal to a team that oddly enough doesn’t just force one-timers to one side of the ice and instead worked the puck down low on the power play:
Every time the Canucks trot out the power play and fail miserably, and then watch as the other team easily cashes in on its chances, it must be what Napoleon felt like battling the British. Just sitting and watching the Brits line up in a field, ready for battle like proper gentlemen, but then here’s Napoleon going “wait, why don’t we just flank these guys?”
You can almost see the Canucks monocles popping out of their eyes with surprise and indignation when other teams score on the power play.
Now, the good news (yes, there is a bit of it):
The Canucks played better this game. Although the repeated story of the absolute tire fire of failed special teams will undoubtedly be the main talking point, this was one of the few games the Canucks controlled the pace of play. They handily won the possession wars and looked like a team that could actually score even-strength goals.
The bad news is none of that matters if this team doesn’t figure out how the whole playing with extra or fewer men thing works.
Oh sweet a power play #canucks
— Kevin Starr (@kdstarr) November 6, 2021
Pp1 is dog shit #canucks
— Brad (@b_radly14) November 6, 2021
The only thing that’s worked out less than the Canucks’ power play the past couple of weeks has been David Quadrelli.
You know how many times I’ve clipped a Canucks power play and watched as the opposition got the best chance?
Hell, the poor PlayNow.com advertisement barely had time to leave the screen before Elias Pettersson breaks his ankles going for the puck and Oliver Ekman-Larsson finds himself defending a two-on-one, or as Demko probably calls it, “what my life is now.”
Lotto Line reunited after icing. O-zone face off and 1-1 tie
— Jeff Paterson (@patersonjeff) November 6, 2021
— Harman Dayal (@harmandayal2) November 6, 2021
Brock Boeser rules. What a goal.
— J.D. Burke (@JDylanBurke) November 6, 2021
Brock Boeser, who low key has been one of the Canucks’ best players this season, continued to showcase his skills as he embarrassed Juuse Saros:
There’s not much more to break down on this goal other than to say Boeser chose violence Friday.
Pettersson’s struggles have been well documented, but give him credit for battling in front of the net and causing a commotion in front of the Nashville goalie:
I know this is on par with showing everyone your broken Lamborghini and talking about how good it is at balancing your coffee cup on the roof, but it is far better to see Pettersson trying to contribute rather than being checked out.
As for Nashville defender Ben Harpur deciding that Travis Hamonic needed a double-team (we all make mistakes in life) thus leaving Boeser wide open, one has to remember Harpur has been running ever since he was a child, some call it free and some call it wild. But there will be light.
Can the canucks just concede powerplays #Canucks
Just to show that, yes, the Canucks getting power plays and conceding the best chance is just something we do in Vancouver. Here are the Canucks once again giving up a breakaway with the extra man:
The good news is the turnover wasn’t on a drop pass.
The bad news is Vancouver is still somehow making puck support look incredibly hard when on the power play.
Sarros is down to his g-string now.
Saros has that NHL 94 glitch where if you wait long enough he’ll get stuck and you can deke him out
— Andy Cole (@AndyCole1984) November 6, 2021
okay we've finally found Saros' one weakness: insanely elite goals that would make Peter Forsberg's career highlights
— kwïn hüz /blm/ (@riotsurvivor) November 6, 2021
Who knew Saros’ weakness was high-level dekes in close:
Nils Höglander, who it feels like should have five goals this season, finally scored his first when he also got the better of Saros.
I know there is something desperate about picking out bright spots for a team that has lost for so many years and displays the same patterns year in and year out, but there is something to be said about celebrating Höglander for being one of the most complete players on the Canucks. Not only did Höglander lead the team in shots with five, but he also eclipsed 60 percent in his Corsi on Friday.
He is the prototypical glue player who will one day be paid way too much and have his contract complained about endlessly.
Enjoy him now while you can.
Reminds me of the famous 15th century England War of the Roses. Civil war for the throne.
— Jace Bennest (@thejacer87) November 6, 2021
It’s a real York-versus-Lancaster situation going on between Boeser and Höglander. Both believe themselves to be the one true king of the filthy deke goal, and it feels like we’ll never have an answ- wait, I’m hearing reports of a news update:
Ladies and gentlemen, what we’ve seen speaks for itself.
The NHL has been taken over by Connor McDavid.
Terrible play by Boeser, filling in for Hughes.
— Iain MacIntyre (@imacSportsnet) November 6, 2021
The other guys aren’t supposed to deke tho…DOH! #canucks
— Jason McLean (@fargolawyer) November 6, 2021
It’s not often IMac leans into his left hook like that, but he’s right, Boeser let up on the Predators’ second goal:
Obviously, when a forward is covering for a defenseman, you oftentimes take what you can get in terms of defensive coverage. But the replay on this goal does not paint a pretty picture as Boeser simply lets Matt Duchene beat the devil out of him.
There is probably a real air of invincibility around you when you have Demko to cover up your mistakes, but for a team struggling to put up wins, you can’t afford to play that loose.
Here comes the powerless play again #Canucks
— Chris Hardiman ☕🎸🚨🏈📺 (@AJoyForever83) November 6, 2021
The Canucks’ best chance was, and you’ll never guess this, a Pettersson one-timer that missed the net:
There was a commenter who chided my sarcastic tone a couple of games back and I have to say, it’s really hard to write about a team’s failing power-play game after game without a little snark sneaking in.
The good news is that once again Pettersson is putting in the effort, he hustles back to break up the usual short-handed odd-man rush. But it’s also, like, how many times can we watch JT Miller on the first-unit power play without wondering what life might be like with him on the second unit. Or, heaven forbid, they work the puck down low. Or maybe just put Pettersson anywhere but the one-timer spot.
Dare to dream and all that.
Did you like that save by Thatcher Demko? You may not have gotten to witness it if Tyler Myers wasn't on the ice, so quit complaining
— David Quadrelli (@QuadreIli) November 6, 2021
The Chaos Giraffe does not care about the human condition. He is there for one reason and one reason only: Chew leaves and cause chaos, and he’s all out of leaves:
It's hard to say what's worse. Our PK or PP. #Canucks
— Dylan Nicholson (@radiocodex) November 6, 2021
Poolman's gotta stop the pass across there.
The Canucks' PK has been unable to prevent royal-road passes *and* low-high passes this season and it's killing them.
— Patrick Johnston (@risingaction) November 6, 2021
The Canucks were penalty killing because CG57 got a bad case of the spins and was then penalized for lifting another player’s leg, which yeah fair enough, that’s a penalty:
Tucker “The Big Splash” Poolman then lived up to his name by laying out and belly-flopping to the ice, only to have to watch in horror as Philip Tomasino roofed the puck past Demko:
The Predators’ power play went 2 for 3 on the night, as the Canucks fell to third from last in the league in penalty killing, which gives Brandon Sutter all the leverage in the world to cash in on a huge penalty-killing contract next season.
At this point, it feels like the Canucks’ special-team coaches are essentially Michael Scott taking improv classes where they refuse to stop walking into the room and pretend to shoot everyone.
Canucks: Boom! Boom! Fans: Stop, stop, OK, stop. Canucks: Boom! Boom! Fans: You shot me, great. Now stop. Canucks: Why? Fans: You can’t just shoot everyone in the scene. Canucks: Well, if you hadn’t stopped the scene, you would have seen where it was going. Fans: OK, what about the scene they set up? Canucks: Boring. Fans: No, it wasn’t. No more guns.
Because of Podkolzin we have a power play , get him on the ice damnit !!! #Canucks
It's a good thing Green puts so much emphasis on defensive structure. I don't even want to know what the #Canucks PK would look like if he didn't.
In big news, Vasily Podkolzin broke the 10-minute mark of ice time and actually got a few shifts in the third period. Part of me assumes he realized that if he scores he gets benched, like when your dog realizes if he goes to the washroom right away, the walk is over. So now he’s playing the long game and just blocking shots, standing in front of the net and drawing penalties, all the things NHL coaches love.
The power play Podkolzin drew led to Miller making people think they scored:
I mean, that’s something, right? You got to experience what a power-play goal might feel like.
Don’t worry, though, the Canucks still gave up the best chance:
Traditions are traditions after all.
EP40 was flirting with good moments all game, and if Podkolzin puts this goal in, once again the young Russian would have salvaged a game for Vancouver:
Imagine two games in a row where a rookie saves the day.
No, just.. no.. we’re good on the powerplay. Thanks though, refs. #Canucks
Once again Travis Hamonic was oddly targeted as someone Nashville needed to slow down, as Nick Cousins took a penalty for holding him late in the game, which sounds far more romantic than I’d planned.
Which to be fair, is a viable strategy for the opposition to use, to kill two minutes off the clock against Vancouver by giving them a power play.
To the Canucks’ credit, however, they finally tried a new strategy, which was to hold the puck behind the Nashville net for 2 minutes, exhaust the penalty killers, then play five-on-five where the Canucks can actually generate a bit of offense.
When that didn’t work, they tried pulling the goalie, and I’d imagine there’s nothing more deflating for Canucks fans to watch than seeing the last-ditch effort utilizing that extra-man advantage one more time. Imagine explaining that to a person attending their first game.
“So they’re pulling the guy who always has to stop a breakaway whenever they have an extra man, so they can put out an extra man? I don’t understand hockey.”
It’s safe to say special teams have cost this team heavily in this young season.
But why listen to me when you can listen to Travis Green talk about the special teams’ performance:
“Yeah they weren’t very good.”
The Chaos Giraffe hopes out of there and helps turn a two-on-one into a rushed shot. OEL is elevating him!
And yes, CG57 still has the confidence of a tall man who has never had to ask someone to reach something on a high shelf for him.
He misses, but due to his chaotic nature, he finds his way back into the play to help, because that’s what chaos does, it favors no side.
And hey, sometimes that chaos goes your way:
And even when it goes your way, sometimes it sputters out with a tired pass:
But at the end of the day, you know what you can count on?
Generally speaking, I feel elbows to the back of the head should be penalties. But that's just my opinion.#Canucks
— Daniel Wagner (@passittobulis) November 6, 2021
Hey, it’s not stick-on-stick contact, so that’s fine.
Hoglander continues to impress. Works so hard every shift. Feel a few goals will come soon #canucks
Constant hustle and no quit on the puck? Check:
Generating offense for his linemates? Check:
Putting himself in position to score goals every game? Check:
Nils Höglander is an NHL coaches dream.
He hits so hard that when Luke Schenn misses a hit, he hurts himself.
Still patiently waiting for the Luuuuuuke chant to start at Rogers Arena for Luke Schenn #canucks
— Brenden Losch (@BrendenLosch) November 6, 2021
Sure, you can throw a ton of punches and try and win the fight.
Or you can be like Schenn and let your helmet beat up the other guy’s hand.
There is a reason it’s the Luke Schenn Fight Club.
But Brad May and Steve Staios signed it. pic.twitter.com/ZmgyWqeO52
— Ginger Canuck (@thegingercanuck) November 5, 2021
Matt Cooke spotted. pic.twitter.com/DBWPYHQaXf
Not going to the game but have this in the closet pic.twitter.com/IfoRcJ3O1d
— organizedsports.wav (@FederalDust) November 5, 2021
2002… close enough!? – only because I know your a fan of #6 pic.twitter.com/Pzckmda5mP
— Nick Pfeifer (@nickyelbows) November 5, 2021
Can’t remember the exact year but he was technically a Canuck in 2001 🤷♀️ pic.twitter.com/MBiWsnRxSX
There were a ton of great entries, but the best had to be Harold Druken, a legend who sent the Canucks back into the playoffs in 2001, back when the horrible “Inside Edge” branding was alive and well on the Canucks:
This is legit one of the most exciting Canucks goals of all time, shown beautifully here in 240p.
(Photo: Jeff Vinnick / NHLI via Getty Images)